so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
