I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
