You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
