New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
