i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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