had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
