If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
