if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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