Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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