one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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