Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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