Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
