ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
