kristin has been a bad kristin
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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