just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just gift wrapped bread.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
