Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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