Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
