she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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