We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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