i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
