i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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