Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
