Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
