idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
