I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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