you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
