I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
