did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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