her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am available for nakedness
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
