Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
