I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
