I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
