Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
