just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
