love makes seman taste better
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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