like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
