Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
