We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
