So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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