Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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