I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
