God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
