I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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