i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
