i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
