So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
