He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
