My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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