So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
