Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
