so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
