i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
